paved :: marc weisblott

News that Canada’s Wonderland will have the “Paramount” prefix removed from its name now that five CBS-owned theme parks have been pawned off to Cedar Fair – the folksy proprietor of a dozen existing American carnivals and water parks – confirms that Hollywood action flicks are no longer driving the thrill ride industry. Besides, what good is a stunt track named for the chase scene at the end of The Italian Job if few relate to that reference? But when Wonderland opened in 1981, its attractions bore names like the Mighty Canadian Minebuster and the Zumba Flume, plus Flinstones iconography that capitalized on two decades of lunchtime reruns on Channel 9. The park’s Wikipedia entry provides a reminder of how many were dreading the construction of Wonderland – from the Canadian National Exhibition anticipating the loss of momentum for their three-week midway, to Vaughan residents fearing a daily influx of undesirables. Yet, the development sprouting around the park was the result of corporate interests changing the province’s mind about keeping the area agricultural; left unfulfilled was original owner Taft Broadcasting’s claim they would devote part of the park to Canadian history to counter fears of the town of Maple becoming a place for kiddies to get brainwashed by American junk. Later, the existence of Wonder Mountain provided a fortuitous opportunity to plant the Paramount flag after their parent company bought the park in the mid-1990s – serving those raised on Ritalin with a multi-sensory overload of Top Gun, Drop Zone and Tomb Raider rides, new mascot costumes serving the SpongeBob and Dora the Explorer generation, and marketing that downplayed the rustic surroundings. A grown-up demographic disappeared, however, once The Molson Ampitheatre took away their concrete shed concert business, and The Ex has miraculously retained enough real estate to continue its kitsch assault – even if Wonderland remains more conducive to an annual Gay Day. Paramount’s exit from the theme park industry is being met with enthusiasm, since new owners Cedar Fair are renowned for better roller coasters, and more sophisticated image represented by Snoopy. A final remnant of amusement park as CBS convergence platform just opened at Paramount’s Great America in Santa Clara, Calif., where Survivor: The Ride demands its passengers engage in tribal chants and ritual dances to avoid getting sprayed with water.

While it seems like each week brings a new campaign to curb a development scheme somewhere in Toronto, protests against building an airport on 18,600 acres of Pickering farmland date back to 1972. When those plans were revived in 1998, director Peter Shatalow figured it’d make for prime documentary fodder. The result is Last Stand, which had a premiere screening at J. Clarke Richardson Collegiate in Ajax attended by nearly 500 people, including several members of original opposition group People Or Planes (POP), who played a role in originally blocking the airport process. More than three decades later, area residents are cautiously optimistic that the federal government will heed a campaign by Voters Organized to Cancel the Airport Lands (VOCAL), along with the ongoing efforts of Land Over Landings (LOL), to compensate for the evictions and demolitions of homes and farms with long-term green alternatives in the area. Last Stand follows a universal template of reminiscences about a more innocent bygone era – complete with footage of morbid street theatre on University Ave., a procession where bodies of politicians were hanged in effigy. That was followed with a dramatic farmhouse standoff by three housewives who were riled by the argument that the GTA needed its own secondary plane portal just like Montreal. A provincial election resulting in a minority government Queen’s Park in 1975 helped prevent Pickering plans from being pursued any further – and Montreal’s moribund Mirabel is now becoming an amusement park site. But that triumph may not prove eternal, as the airport authority hopes to book flights into Pickering by 2012. Last Stand is a one-man production by Shatalow, patching together archival footage while following the developments of the past six years – he is now offering DVDs, with hopes of securing a broadcast outlet for a story for which a true conclusion awaits. Whatever the outcome of this battle, the documentary should provide insight into whether the type of civic consciousness raised via websites and e-mail can be as effective in halting the bulldozers than the quaint legacy of hippie-era activism.

Last Stand [official documentary site]

The Amazing Kreskin, who brings his venerable act through the 905 this week, might’ve claimed the most accurate statistical prediction of the 2004 federal election results, even guessing the length of the minority Liberal parliament, but he’s been humbled into making a vaguer pronouncement for the next round: “The newly elected Harper and his Conservative Party now in office, will last, at least for two years.” The mentalist’s relationship to this country was forged through most of the 1970s, when The Amazing World of Kreskin was produced by CTV – it’s now due for a DVD box set, whose initial release will be packaged with a replica 1967 Milton Bradley board game. It’d appear George Kresge’s routine hasn’t changed much in 40 years, even if the internet has become a rival in any clairvoyant’s quest to establish long-term credibility; back in spring 2002, he was certain that the biggest UFO sighting of all-time was imminent. But this hasn’t discouraged him from publishing a whack of explicit expectations for 2006: Renewed enthusiasm for peanut butter, neckties and the legacy of Nipsey Russell; an uncovering of cruelty to animals in the Middle East, greater interest in forms of torture amongst kids and adult party revelers, and a fad involving shoeless and sockless feet; but also a backlash against voice mail, cellphones, loud music, bad manners, and every other societal trend your typical 71-year-old finds bothersome. Kreskin thinks more dentists will commit suicide, more psychatrists will go bonkers, and young people will be overcome by mass hysteria. Plus, he figures the poker industry will be exposed for corruption, while pendulums will be making a comeback. He also seems particularly fixated on the collapse of the media and entertainment industries, anticipating the point where movies become shorter, musicians are exposed for miming, and broadcast advertising is proven to be an ineffective sham. Maybe that explains why a plan to revive Kreskin’s television career, announced last summer, has failed to get off the ground. Kreskin will be going mental at the Oakville Centre for the Performing Arts on Thursday (March 2) and the Brampton Heritage Theatre on Friday (March 3).

Kreskin predicts you’ll read this story [Toronto Star]

Miss Toronto Tourism 2005 is due in court March 6 in connection with a masked purse grabbing spree, involving imitation firearms, at the Soft Hands Spa in Mississauga – in addition to being charged with planning a follow-up heist at Brampton’s Mystique Massage Parlour, along with four alleged accomplices, in October 2004. A report in the Star pointed out 20-year-old Zenovique Wilson earned her Miss Toronto crown in April 2005, while out on bail. Based on this forum posting, Wilson appeared as a SUNshine Girl a few weeks later, then she sported her sash at a Caribana-themed event at the Parkway Mall, although her blonder replacement was evidently given the honour of crashing Film Festival parties by the time September rolled around. Not unlike how Vanessa Williams was stripped of her title as Miss America 1984 after an erotic photo session turned up in Penthouse – only to become the most legitimately famous talent to score that honour – the Miss Toronto Tourism website now lists a runner-up as 2005’s titleholder. But perhaps in the effort to keep the tiara from being altogether tarnished, a Miss Toronto Tourism was already crowned for 2006, not that it’s easy to keep tabs on such details. The people behind the pageant, which launched in 1999, remain particularly elusive – the Toronto Board of Trade has been unsuccessful in ever trying to reach anyone in regard to the misleading “tourism” brand, reports The Mississauga News. While 1993’s second-place finisher in the Miss India Canada contest, Ruby Dhalla, is now into her second term as Brampton-Springdale MP, it’d seem a reigning ambassador of beauty needs to be accused of wrongdoing to get noticed in the GTA. Last summer, resident Miss Universe title holder Natalie Glebova was kept from acting in her official capacity at the Taste of Thailand Festival at Nathan Phillips Square when municipal policies insisted she could only be introduced as “an individual of note” – resulting in an apology from the mayor. The website for the beleaguered Miss Canada International contest, however, prominently features two titleholders who were dethroned over the past decade, perfectly appropriate considering the shady practices the event was accused of by former contestants. Hopefully, the self-proclaimed Miss Canadiana – the alter ego of artist Camille Turner – can continue in her quest to soak up the adulation that actual pageant winners are being denied.

When the irritating indie yuppie clichés of Queen St. W. can provoke their own viral music video, it’s a smart time to look elsewhere for the next hipster fix. The Brampton Indie Arts Festival returns for its sixth dead of winter run Wednesday through Saturday (Feb. 8-11), with “Friendly Rich” Marsella curating a program that predominantly draws from hyperlocal talent. None of the interior at the Heritage Theatre (86 Main St. N.) will be going to waste, evidently, as the bathrooms which will host “art too dirty for the mainstage” each night – gender-specific filth that facilitates a bassoonist, cellist, harpist and Verdi-singing soprano. Recurring themes on the nightly program are homemade musical instruments, horror films and puppet shows. A highlight of the Wednesday lineup combines all of the above: An animated movie called I Heart Robot accompanied by onstage action “written in part as a simple re-tooling of the Frankenstein story mixed with the dangerous themes of the computer age and the loneliness of the computer nerd”. Brampton isn’t immune to the emo sensibility, though, reflected in nightly headliners The Vulcan Dub Squad, The Most Serene Republic, Wheels on the Bus and Moneen – it’d be just like surfing for music on MySpace, only with real-life interaction and higher fidelity. Since catering to short attention spans is a credo of the event, visual art diversions include an exhibit by immortal Mendelson Joe at the neighbouring Beaux Arts Gallery (74 Main St. N.). Festival founder, Friendly Rich, has been successful at getting Brampton to save the Heritage Theatre from demolition for the last couple years – his desire to preserve it as an alternative arts hub has spawned an online petition, just in case mounting an event like this for four nights each year isn’t encouragement enough. Friendly Rich traipses into Toronto the following week, bringing his live vaudeville show, billed as “Lawrence Welk meets Pee-Wee’s Playhouse” to Lula Lounge (1585 Dundas St. W.) on February 16.

The unveiling of six finalists bidding to visually stimulate the Mississauga skyline with a potentially stunning 52-storey condo tower have brought some futuristic enthusiasm to the auto-addled atmosphere that’s became synonymous with everything nasty, brutish and short about suburbia – a place where most social interaction takes place at Square One mall due to the fact that streets can’t be crossed without risking life and limb. The consultant tapped for the task of giving the city centre a more inviting atmosphere is Fred Kent of the Project For Public Spaces, whose approach to community rehabilitation seems to be universally adored, because it leaves little room for chaos. Kent’s theories on how to effectively concoct a town square setting have only increased in popularity as the cracks start to show in the dorky urban solutions of the 20th century: Cities that once looked to the skywalk as the ideal method of making a downtown core feel more like a shopping mall are now scrambling to figure out how feet an be shifted to real ground. Certainly, focusing on a total rethink of a public space is a more elaborate process than spouting forth sociological theories about how people are bound to abandon a city that fails to support its creative class – Kent has been openly critical of how starchitects like Frank Ghery are so hung up on their egocentric monuments that they end up shoving sidewalks out of the postcard picture. Mississauga may end up defining itself as a place that channels all of its artistic inclination into revamping the overall environment, rather than a few people waiting for flowers to sprout from the concrete. Better to proactively placate residents with the greenish serenity of a tea house, farmer’s market and wedding chapel than waiting for the inevitable day when those settings are rolled out exclusively beneath the registered trademarks of Starbucks, Wal-Mart and Home Depot.

Making a square dance in Mississauga [Toronto Star]

Humpty Dumpty Snack Foods is closing its plant in Brampton, putting 188 people out of work – citing the trend toward healthier eating as a factor. Pursuing that market requires some geographical reshuffling, evidently. The media coverage from the last several years, as preserved on Humpty Dumpty’s own corporate site, reads rather bleak: A plunging U.S. dollar, the higher cost of frying oil, and an outdated brand that seemed to exist only as an afterthought on store shelves. Demand evidently didn’t increase after commercials depicting it as the preferred snack of blasé emo boys – caught swabbing cheese powder on a woman’s underwear in the laundromat, and circumstances leading to ketchup chip residue ending up on pubescent female breasts. (Watch them here.) Products bearing names like Cruncheez and Nachoz also seem like a lost cause, and anyone who can read the nutritional information on those pseudo-high-end Maine Coast bags can only feel better about sucking back a few artery-filling Frappuccinos instead. The salty snack obsessives at taquitos.net cover some of Humpty Dumpty’s output – which will continue in three other facilities east of here – rating 48 different flavours, and noting the company produces both "Ridgies" and "Ripples", plus several varieties available only along the U.S. Eastern Seaboard. Humpty Dumpty BBQ Nachos (with an "s&quot currently stand among the top ten snack foods ever; the more exotically regional Sour Cream and Clam Artificially Flavored Ripple Chips curdle among the all-time worst.

Weathervane is an exhibit at Gairloch Gardens, part of Oakville’s Centennial Square (1306 Lakeshore Rd. E.), running through January 15. It’s dedicated to artistic reflections of the phenomenological aspects of weather and strategies linking atmospheric conditions to psychological, social and environmental concerns. The sculpture called Weather Vane (pictured) is the work of artist Rodney Graham, riding backwards on a bicycle as derived from a film where he takes LSD, then pedals through a Berlin park in a psychedelic haze. An installation by Diana Thater titled White is the Colour
projects images of clouds into the upper reaches of a dimly lit and
windowed room, promising to instill uncertainty in the eyes of the
beholder. And a short film by Seifollah Samadian called The White Station is shot from an apartment window during a snowstorm in Tehran, observing a woman braving the brutal conditions to catch a bus – a scene that may be familiar to anyone who’s been forced to wait for an Oakville Transit bus in a blizzard.  A talk by curator Karen Love, Tuesday at 7:30 p.m. will detail all 12 of the worldwide works comprising Weathervane, and ideally explain what phenomenological means.

Weathervane [Oakville Galleries]

A plan to waive the $500 permit fee for filming in the City of Vaughan, so long as the producers identify it in credits as "The City Above Toronto" and include external images of the area, was approved by their publicity-craving council this week. "The savings will only be given to films funded at least in part by government or government agencies," read the Star’s online-only report, "which rules out porn films made on the cheap". But hopefully not excluding low-budget skinema makers who manage to talk the Cinespace complex in Kleinburg into using their White House set for a few hours. Built for 1997’s feature Murder at 1600, the ersatz Oval Office was then recycled for such productions as The Brady Bunch in the White House, Elvis Meets Nixon and My Date with the President’s Daughter. Throw in a metaphorical shot of water cascading down the mountain at Canada’s Wonderland or some wildlife mating rituals at the Kortright Conservation Area and it’s like winning the lottery. Meanwhile, there is an effort being made out of frustration to establish a genuine arts council in a place where the bestest idea of a tourist draw is the Vaughan Mills mall. Curiously, there is but one household name specifically acknowledged as hailing from Vaughan in the IMDb: Woodbridge-born Elizabeth Arden, an uncredited makeup artist on 1937’s original version of A Star is Born.

Despite the implication on the front of yesterday’s National Post, a churlish painting of a purple-haired Hazel McCallion titled "1984" had nothing to do with the Port Credit Business Improvement Association demanding it yanked from the window of Byron Ormond’s gallery on Lakeshore Rd. E. The chair of the BIA, who’s also the owner of Private Moments Lingerie, tells the Mississauga News: "I’m not an art critic. I sell underwear for a living." Ormond is fed up with a lack of support for the arts from the octogenarian mayor – and got his four-year-old son to make footprints on the painting to affirm this point. The disgruntled gallery owner also claims that his offering of family portraits to naturists and inviting locals to have their rear ends photographed for free (a la Yoko Ono) to lure new customers isn’t sitting well with his neighbouring businesses in Port Credit, a place Ormond says is drawing nobody but "ice cream lickers and coffee drinkers". Promoting nudity isn’t good for the lingerie business either, apparently. McCallion’s 27-year term as Mississauga mayor may well come to an end next year given MP Carolyn Parrish announcing her amicable intentions to eventually take over the job.