Frisk a frisky flying squirrel for fun and profit

A provincial grant of $150K for a five-year study of mating habits of northern flying squirrels at Laurentian University in Sudbury gave the Progressive Conservative Party of Ontario something to squeak about in advance of provincial budget day, although a piece in the Sunday Star and subsequent press release via PC leader John Tory was rehashing a Liberal-bashing factoid from the Canadian Taxpayers Federation’s annual Teddies Waste Awards – a round of annual grandstanding from the attention-starved advocacy group. The provincial funding for squirrel sex, one of many awards granted by the Ministry of Research and Innovation, was nominated alongside debacles related to auto insurance rate hikes in British Columbia and provincial funding poured into a bankrupt pulp mill in Saskatchewan. But this particular waste award category winner was the government of Manitoba, who the Winnipeg Sun accused of providing vain residents with free access to “tummy tucks and fat reducing surgeries”. The taxpayers federation later withdrew this accusation after the Manitoba health minister explained that only procedures that were medically necessary were being covered by medicare, and the hysterical CTF were forced to extend an apology “to the victims of multiple scoliosis, cerebral palsy, cancer, burn accidents or any and all other inflictions for which these procedures were necessary”. So, perhaps understanding how climate change may affect the ability of rodents to procreate in Algonquin Park isn’t a waste, especially a year after the federal government were sending police officers to the home of a Mississauga naturalist who had a pet flying squirrel imported from Indiana – the refugee “Sabrina” eventually won the fight to remain, despite fears of monkey pox that prompted Canada to turn such critters away at the border. As for the Canadian Taxpayers Federation, their biggest local publicity rout of the past six months involved shredding a New York Times report that lauded Ontario for a $2.5 million investment in the stage production of Lord of the Rings – the advance box office receipts of $15 million before its official opening would suggest they’re well on their way to recouping the amount from provincial sales tax alone. But between the doctors, farmers and college folk all riled up at Premier Dalton McGuinty this week, not to mention a provincial wealth-sharing system reported to be on the cusp of implosion, picking on a $30K a year grant for an assistant biology professor is quite a curious Conservative complaint.