paved :: marc weisblott

Findings of the Harlequin Romance Report – as covered in Cupidwatch #1 – were overshadowed by news of the publisher forging an alliance with NASCAR for a series of racetrack paperbacks just in time for Valentine’s Day. But there are no shortage of other discoveries picking up the slack for 2006, with each press release more mind-numbing than the last, supplying every possible spin with its own statistical evidence. The Retail Council of Canada commissioned a survey that concludes 66 per cent of Canadians plan to buy something for their sweetie, and the 3 per cent equating gift cards with romance are primarily those who’ve been in their relationship for less than a year. Predictably, the Retail Council numbers, as crunched by POLLARA, reveal more exuberance about February 14 spending on durable goods than what Decima discovered on behalf of Scotiabank, who nonetheless claim a recent spike in spending trends on flowers and dinner – married men will drop around $130, while ladies spend an average of $66, regardless of their relationship stage. Meanwhile, a survey from Hallmark that asked greeting card buyers whether they could picture their partner (“real or imagined”) as an animal turned up 17 per cent voting “cuddly bear”, 14 per cent choosing “kitten”, and 11 per cent responding “tiger” – could “pit bull” have been far behind? Such instincts must have practical applications, based on a Lavalife poll asserting the popularity of supermarket flirtation over the gym, dog park or bookstore. Yet another Decima survey was done on behalf of Vonage, determining that 53 per cent of Canadians have engaged in something called “phone sex” – specifying this was done with a partner or close friend, lest you believe it only involves a financial transaction. Most eager of all to get their brand name attached to some topical ink this year is United Parcel Service, who boast of having added 28 extra flights this week, in order to facilitate the mass quantities of lingerie and chocolate being sent to women.