Ready for the annual avalanche of statistics leading up to Valentine’s Day? The local gatekeepers of the Harlequin Romance Report know you’re not, which explains why, for the 17th year in a row, they’ve compiled dubious data about how apathetic other folks boast of being when it comes to relationships. Last year, the main revelation was that Canadians preferred sleeping in and skipping work to anything sexual. This time around, the survey reveals that three-quarters of the population suffers from “first-move paralysis”, how men cheat and lie and require a shot of “liquid confidence” in order to string a sentence together, and shriveled-up octogenarian Hugh Hefner ranks above Barack Obama and the Dalai Lama as the celebrity that women most crave an encounter with. Laundromats are cited as the hottest places to meet people, with libraries cited as runner-up. And while seventeen per cent of Romance Report respondents “admit to fabricating an encounter to make it look like an unforeseen meeting”, dropping litter in the path of a female bike courier is not a recommended courtship technique. Just seven per cent of 2,000 respondents express any faith in online dating – would you expect any other result from a publisher banking on women retaining their romantic delusions? Harlequin paperbacks being pitched for lonely chicks to devour on the couch with their half-price bon bons February 14 include Delicious (restauranteur hires artifically inseminated ex-wife to be his chef), The Breakup Club (“Is there life after heartbreak?” the coverline wonders) and Blame it on Chocolate (”Who knew that overindulging in her creation would turn an introverted plant lover into a wild nymphomaniac?”).
Cupidwatch #1: Harlequin innocence
January 30, 2006 · 3 Comments
Categories: bookish
3 responses so far ↓
Lena // January 31, 2006 at 2:03 pm
Any woman who prefers Hugh over Barack is better off with those bon bons, methinks.
Isn’t this the same report that said Blackberries and iPods were also getting in the way of romance?
Chris Taylor // January 31, 2006 at 4:51 pm
If so Lena, that’s hilarious. Who uses their iPod at home? Don’t these people have stereos?
“Pardon me honey, I’m just going to sit over here, listening to my music and completely ignoring you.”
As for Blackberry usage at home… if work mail is more exciting than relaxing with one’s family, go the whole nine yards and just move in to the office.
Lena // February 4, 2006 at 12:57 pm
Hi Chris,
I think the tech damage happens not at home, but when people are out on the street, in cafes/coffeehouses, wherever they go - if you never take your eyes/ears off these things, how can you talk to a real live person? Unless you bond over them, or something…
You must be logged in to post a comment.