Lad scam

Understanding Men, a half-day $150 conference taking place Wednesday (Jan. 25) at The MaRS Collaboration Centre (101 College St.) seems like a throwback to five years ago, when it was impossible to swing your phallus around without being barraged with a moronic marketing ploy aimed at the guy demo – however, the aesthetics of British lad culture didn’t translate too well once projected on the working-class hoser demographic. But all the feminist theories recycled in retaliation were no match for the emergence of female chauvinist pigs, Paris Hilton and the alleged empowerment of porn stars, and amateur exhibitionism caught on camera. Eventually, it was bound to sink in that underneath all of that airbrushing was somebody’s daughter, clearing a path for more sophisticated strategies to target neanderthals. This day-long confab addresses the topic of “Metros vs. Retros”, pondering the Global Male Identity Crisis identified by the Leo Burnett agency, which generated revelations like 15 per cent of men enjoy getting manicures, the vast majority of men think smelling bad is worse than looking bad, and more men would rather end world hunger than marry a supermodel or lead their country. A subsequent presentation involves a case study of how Viagra endeared itself to the marketplace due to the efforts of two women. And, finally, six executives will attempt to answer the burning question, “Is anyone speaking to men the way the Dove real beauty campaign speaks to women?” With these issues being plunked on the table, it’s only a matter of time before the Canadian Tire Guy goes trading in his hedge trimmer for eyebrow tweezers.

Understanding Men: Metro vs. Retro [conference agenda]